So many things to say to you. Unanswered questions, opinions, thoughts. Just one problem. Is it worth telling you? See, I don't know.
Some days I've moved on & somedays I haven't. But to me, it feels like were fighting something. Why? Why are we fighting something so easy? Something that just happened that we hardly had to work for? Isn't that's how its suppose to be? You've got other battles over you though. & I know that. But still, I just wanna scream "FIGURE IT OUT ALREADY". Some things can't be rushed.
9.29.11
I've been asked: "Why are you so nice to people who don't deserve it?"
Besides the fact that I've known the golden rule since before I came into the world, it is my belief that those are the people who need it most. Whether you have shown if you do or don't deserve it, it's who I am no matter what. So, no matter how awful you decide to treat me, I will forever be nice to you. Is it ok to take advantage? Walk all over me? Do whatever you want with my heart? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
But, more than likely, you'll do it anyway. Why change now, right?
Do not say anything you don't mean. If you really mean it, SHOW ME.
Words mean nothing when they don't match up to your actions. Empty words, its all I hear.
I do strive to have good intentions, & do good to others. & I fail daily at this. But I TRY. Give it all my best.
& Can I just say I felt like I gave it all my best to you. To make it work, make it happy. Letting you know I never had any intentions to hurt you...did the smile on my face every time you were in my presence not give it away?
After giving you plenty of opportunities to say what you needed to say. And you never took them. Instead of making it easy on everyone, you decide to hide. & then show up when needed.
I can handle every bit of the truth, What I can't handle is lies.
I am so so so sick of the way men treat women. Not to say it can't be the other way around, because I see it just as often. It just breaks my heart. Completely.
JUST BE NICE. RESPECT. ITS NOT THAT HARD. DO IT, I DARE YOU.
Sorry for ranting. Try to read through the anger & bitterness. It was not intended.
Another lesson in life, I'm learning a lot....
Everybody needs love.
8.23.11
the look on your face that night
I saw you with your split second
of a grin keeps replaying in my head.
things were so easy. falling for someone should be that easy. it shouldn't be forced upon, or be fought with. it just happens. and it did. & I can say this because I know you felt it too otherwise neither one of us would be here.
watching a flower bloom would be faster than waiting for you.
& its not that I want to give up, but I think you already did.
I'm one of those people that needs closure. Are we done here?
8.11.11
It doesn't matter how sorry you feel,
life is a game of dominoes..if only good things were being passed on to one another. when someone hurts you,
you go & do the same thing to another.
At some point it ends though right?
I still believe in the goodness of people.
It's in you & it's not that hard to find.
10.22.09
i LOVE pickles, they're my favorite food. i don't have a favorite color, but if i did, it would be plumish purple. yes, that's a color. i hate making decisions. i get offended if people aren't as bubbly about things as i am. my entire bedroom is actually just a huge closet to me. i often pretend like my life is the movie serendipity. however, i do believe everyone is passed through your life for a reason. i hope i'm a reason for someone else. i cry easily. it's cause i have a loving heart :) sweet tea is my favorite drink. i love the way i feel in a dress. i hate hate hate when people eat by themselves. i love to snuggle. i love people+bonfires. there is a feeling i get around the holidays, it is like no other. even when i think about it i can feel it. i can smell, feel and taste it, i get so excited. i hate to be alone. i dont remember that last time i went to bed before midnight. i'm a night owl. hoo, hoo. i hate planning. i don't like fruit. grapes and bananas sometimes. it doesn't matter how much sleep i get, if i have to wake up in the morning, i will be tired and not want to get up. i don't talk in the mornings. give me a few hours after i wake up. my mom is my best friend. really, my best friend. when i'm old, i want a cool story to tell. i've never felt like i "fit in". i like that about myself. i hate to be like anyone else. i don't like to have the same things, wear the same things, i don't like when people say i remind them of someone else. i'm michaela. i want to be just me. originality is my favorite. my favorite saying is "i belong among the wildflowers." because i do. i live in the future too much. i hate peanut butter. i might be the only kid who wouldnt eat pb&j's. gross.
these are the little things i want to know about you.
(CAN I JUST SAY HOW EXCITED I WAS READING THIS AGAIN. IT BROUGHT A SMILE TO MY FACE KNOWING NOTHINGS CHANGED! HEHE)
9.1.09
i greet him with my best smile.
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