eskimo kiss.

remember that time you made me smile. ya, let's go back there.

is it weird when i read those i think of you.
all of them remind me of you.
and i secretly hope that you're thinking of me too.
heavy heart.









life's better with company.


more snow is on it's way. let it fall.

good morning darling,

first snowfall

of the year

this morning. aaaamazing!

i dove into this day with a grumpy face.
but so far this week has been absolutely wonderful.

especially today.

lessons learned: (or maybe already knew, just refreshed)
i laugh WAY to loud. like i almost got in trouble for my laughter. i can't help it.
i love my job.
when people stare, just look back and smile and walk away. they are already weird enough to not get the hint that it's awkward.
have fun.
it would be more logical to walk across the street to panera than drive the 10 feet only to find there are no parking spots and end up parking even further away than the former walk would have been. (but it was really cold).
there's a definate reason for meeting anyone who falls into your life.
singing and dancing is a must when christmas music is playing at work. free entertainment to all.

enjoy!

hello december.

it's that time again

:)

Young and full of running
Tell me where's that taking me?
Just a great figure 8 or a tiny infinity

Love is really nothing

But a dream that keeps waking me

For all of my trying

You still end up dying

How can it be?

Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me

'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe

There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me

So young and full of running, all the way to the edge of desire

Steady my breathing, silently screaming,"I have to have you now"

Wired and I'm tired

Think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor

Maybe this mattress will spin on its axis and find me on yours

Don't say a word just come over and lie here with me

'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe

There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me

things that make me smile:

(enough to brighten up any day :)

today's favorites,

sometimes i think i love differently than everyone else.

or i have instant connections with some people that are unexplainable. maybe thats it.

like i meet people and it could be an hour later and i feel like were catching up from years past and then its time for you to leave and my heart breaks a little. but i don't hardly know you. i just met you, but it's like i already love you. how does that work?

and then you're on my mind for the next...week, or more like lifetime.

there are certain kinds of people that this happens with.

you certainly leave a long lasting impression on my heart.

oh hello. please, you should come cook for me

because i don't know how.

and you have to wear that apron too.

LOVE is all around.

my dearest beautiful madre,

I know that times get rough and it’s annoying and all you can think about. But this is when you have to take a few steps back and look at the beautiful life you have to be thankful for. Things may not seem to go right sometimes. There are times when you think it NEVER will. I want this to be a reminder of how much your life is worth, because I don’t think you understand who you are.
First of all, wake up everyday and thank the Lord for giving you this day and another chance to live for it, because that alone is beautiful. God gave you this day and has a plan in set for you. When you think you are having a bad day, remember it’s in his work. It may not be easy, but HE KNOWS BEST. That is awesome! Maybe it will be the day you meet a man, maybe it won’t. Maybe something new will arise, maybe it wont. That’s the joy in waking up and living for Him. Let Him have control over it, leave it for Him.
He passed the most wonderful job by you, and look where you are. It wasn’t an easy road to get there, but look at all the people you met, friends made, and lessons learned through it all. Financial it has never been easy. You know how I feel about money. Money is worthless and stupid, and there is so much more. This world has made it such an issue, pay for what you can, and move on. Everything is so much better without it. So Get up each morning and do your best at it because after many prayers and love, he gave you this job knowing you will love it and succeed. And that you are.
Friends and Family. What a HUGE blessing. The people in your life help make your life what it is. You are not alone, and never will be. This one is hard for me to even fathom. Why I have so many loving, amazing people in my life, I don’t know! YOU are the first that I always am thankful for. He gave me a small family, but more love than I would have ever known could be. There are children, adults, lots of people out there with no family members, no friends. This makes me feel like my life is a piece of cake! I can’t even imagine what that would feel like. I am thankful that I don’t have to go through that. And I make sure that anyone that is passed through my life, doesn’t ever feel that way either. Everyone is in your life for a reason. Whether it was an hour of your life, or they have been there from day one, there is a reason. Let it be known. WE WERE MADE TO BE IN RELATIONSHIPS. Whether you are meant to be in another relationship with a man or not, remember all the other relationships you have. Please don’t ever feel like “yes, I have all these friends and family, but it’s not enough”. Whether you want them to be or not, they are MORE than enough. Please be thankful for the people you have, it could be no one. Every last friend counts. You are a daughter, a mother, a friend, and a child of God. Don’t let them slip away because you are so focused on being “in love”. Don’t give up, but remember the beautiful life you have to live and the people in it going along with the ride too. It’s such a weird and crazy life we live on earth. This isn’t it. There is so much more to look forward too! But for now, life is just way too short to be unhappy. Every moment of every day you spend unhappily, you will never ever get it back. Your smile is just too beautiful to not show the world.
you are surrounded by love, get through the fog, you'll see it.

If you think it’s not going your way, it’s because God has other plans for you. Follow him!!



I LOVE you right up to the moon, and back.
Love always and forever,
Your Michaela

happy halloween

I'm holdin' on

To pictures on my telephone

And I know that I should let you go

But it's hard to break away.

I ask around

And I wonder what you're doing now

But I hear that you've been going out

A little more these days.

Well, I can't lie that I think from time to time

How you're doing

But don't hang up cause

What I really meant to say is

Everything's wrong, nothing's going right

Just know that I'm not hard to find.

So just say the word and I'll race to you tonight

And I'll be right there by your side...holding on.

Remember when

We were further than you'd ever been

And I think about it now and then;

It takes me to that place.

When I pretend

That I'm better than I've ever been

Well at least that's what I tell my friends

Cause I can't show my face

Well, I can't lie that I think from time to time

How you're doing.

But don't hang up cause

What I really meant to say

Everything's wrong and nothing's going right

Just know that I'm not hard to find.

So just say the word and I'll race to you tonight

And I'll be right there

by your side.

oh, do i know you?

i hate this feeling and where i stand right now.

but i think its time.

you FOREVER have a piece of my heart that no one else will compare too. you have taught me things, changed my life, and made things a little happier just from knowing you. thank you. maybe i'll see you again one day.

till then, take care.

on a night like this, the moon sits still and

the stars are watching too.

i miss your company

and i don't feel you

around anymore.

work dinner.

fun. fun. fun.

love?

I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.

not to position people into "groups" or anything,

however there are many types of people in this world.

there is one type of person that really bothers me...

and it is those who mark there place in this world by crushing one's spirit.

i haven't quite figured these people out yet.

and i don't think i ever will because i cannot even phathom why

someone would want to or be ok with being this way.

i'm not sure if maybe they feel like criticizing your work

and ability will make them better than you. or maybe to make them feel better about themselves. or possibly their heart is misplaced and unwanted to find. it seems as though they aren't even unhappy with the results, it's almost like they just don't want you to feel accomplished.

they are NEVER satisfied.

whatever the case may be,

i pray for these people i

encounter throughout each day.

they need it. but i feel as though

i have to pray for myself because

they give me this overpowering

feeling that is a hard one to

overcome.

i am confident but have a very gentle spirit.

so please, next time you feel the need to crumble, destroy, overturn my loving happy heart, rethink your intentions.

or don't return.

woo, i feel better!

well, you may or may not know, but i find the tinest littlest insignificant things the BEST. i also have a thing where i over exaggerate everything like way out of proportion. so when i find something really small and unessessary, it usually MAKES MY DAY. i get insanely overly excited about teeny little things. (and that is not an exaggeration.) like really. and i just think it's the most amazing thing ever. and i read into things way too much.

i just felt i needed to explain myself a

bit to tell you this story

otherwise it might not make sense.

or something.

so i got off work a little late this evening and stopped on the way home to get a crappy dinner and take home. its rainy and cold and late and tiring. so i come home to a dark and quiet house. it was actually nice for a little bit after the day i had. i'm sitting there by myself eating dinner....(oh quick sidenote: i ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND, HATE when people eat ALONE. like my heart breaks into millions.) so i'm eating my wendys alone and just starring at my kitchen quietly going through my day. looking around, thinking wow, i really don't ever want my life to be this way. i can just picture myself in 10 years...going home to my lonely apartment after work, eating chicken nuggets, alone in my quiet home. living a boring routine life. (i hate routine.) sad. just a sad life to picture. and i know there are some out there living this way. i want someone to share my dinner with, talk about our day, someone to say "i love you" to before i go to bed (other than my wonderful mother...love you :)
as i'm beginning to think about living this life, i picked up my chicken nugget from wendys and looked down and it was the shape of a heart. i just had to smile. ironic maybe, but these are the little insignificant things that make my world...alright. it was like a little sign, YOU ARE LOVED. and i know that fully well. so thank you, it was a nice little reminder. no, i do not have a boyfriend, husband, fiance...a man really, but i have the Lord, my family and friends. and i'm am oh so grateful in more ways than imagined.
a tiny little nugget made this evolve from my head. this is where i over exaggerate and get completely overly excited.

so ya i totally am a believer in the
SMALLEST THINGS ARE THE BEST.
and you will never talk me out of it. it's just a part of me.

and me is all i can be.

ineedtogetoveryou,willyoujusttellmeyoudon'tlovemealready

dear mom,

you are BEAUTIFUL.

and i'm clearly not the only one who thinks so ;)

love, me

LNBH#2

unrequited love.